handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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