Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
