if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
