yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
