Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
