I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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