i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
