as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
