Just mADE A PArabola og urine
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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