Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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