Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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