I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
