i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Is it because I queefed?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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