Having a random hookup so left but love u
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize