I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
