the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
