Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
