i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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