I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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