I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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