whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
