Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
