There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
