I'm gonna have a badass scar
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
