she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
