booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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