omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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