Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
