Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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