Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize