By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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