Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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