im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
