I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Panties = found
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