TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
