scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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