yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
