on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
