:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
