Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
