What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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