I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
