Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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