Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
