I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
