writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
