dude i'm inner monologue high
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
