whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
