Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
