I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
