You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm like, not good at living.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
