My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
