i need an iv and a liver transplant
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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