I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
