Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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