I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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