Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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