420 ftw
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
