it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
