That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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