We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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