I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
soo... how was my night?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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