So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
