we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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