he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
